


Desperado

by blooming_atlas



Category: Mafia (Video Games)
Genre: Brief mentions of Shoua Na/Lincoln Clay, But he's trying, I finally got around to playing the Stones Unturned DLC and this plot would not stop bugging me, John isn't good at opening himself up, M/M, Romance, Sexual Content, This is after Stones Unturned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 12:54:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14671535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blooming_atlas/pseuds/blooming_atlas
Summary: After the events of Stones Unturned, John is forced to acknowledge his relationship with Lincoln Clay and the risks involved.





	Desperado

Lincoln lay heavily on top of him, his big body trembling in the aftermath of orgasm. They were in bed, the motel room cool and dark around them. John had no idea what time it was; he could have lifted his head to peer at the clock on the bedside table, but he didn’t have the energy. Nor did the time matter; what mattered was the shattering realization that he was in deep shit.

He couldn’t say he hadn’t known what he was doing. He had walked into the situation with his eyes open, knowing that he was already far too vulnerable for Lincoln, too close to falling for the man he’d fought beside with and that falling into bed with him would only increase his vulnerability, something he had sworn to never again do after Connor had left him bleeding in an alleyway in Saigon.

He had known, and he’d done it anyway.

It wasn’t sex--though God knows the word that best described it was _too_ : too hot, too raunchy, too powerful. This wasn’t just sex, this was fucking...at least on his part. And that was the problem. John hadn’t wanted to love him. He’d thought--hoped--that he could keep that core part of himself separate, and inviolate. He’d failed miserably, or maybe spectacularly, because he hadn’t even prepared for the inescapable fact that on every level he was Lincoln’s match. Not just physically, but emotionally, even in their personalities, they came together as equals. He might never in his lifetime find someone who matched him as well as Lincoln did, and if this didn’t work out, it was going to haunt him for a long, long time.

John’s arms were still looped around Lincoln’s neck, his legs still hugged him close. Since the moment they had returned from that island and fallen into bed, and that had to be hours ago, he didn’t think they had been out of physical contact with each other for more than five minutes, total. They had cuddled and stroked and kissed, dozed in a tangle of legs and arms, and fucked with an almost desperate hunger.  This wasn’t just the result of sexual deprivation, though it had been a long time for him; nor was it that first fascination with a new fling. This was different. This was more.

As they rested, their heartbeats had slowed, became synchronized. Lincoln nuzzled his neck, then gently pulled out of his body and fell on his side. “God, I’m hungry.” Just like that he banished his malaise, and John snorted with laughter. “You’re supposed to say something romantic, Lincoln. What happened to, at least, _“You were amazing”_?”

Lincoln yawned and stretched. “It fell by the wayside somewhere around the fourth time. Want me to buy you a dress and flowers?” Reaching out one long arm, he switched on the bedside lamp and propped up on one elbow, looking down at him with a sleepy, sated gaze. “So, where do we go from here, Donovan?” 

_Ah._

John took a deep breath. He had been honest with himself, and Lincoln deserved no less. “I need to regroup...get my head back in the game.”

“Regroup from what?”

“From this. You. Sex. This is...this is--”

“--pretty powerful stuff,” Lincoln said, completing the sentence. “For me, too. So why is it making you run?”

“I’m not running, just retreating a little.” John ran a hand through his hair, then looked up at him, propped up watching him with those piercing eyes, his gaze searching. “I think this is more powerful stuff to me than it is to you, and that’s a big risk for me to take. Relationships always tend to fall through with me and I’m not exactly an open person.”

“Risks? Donovan, I’m a Black man messing around with your pale ass and you think I haven’t gone over the risks?”

“And what if things between us don’t work out?”

 “You don’t know that for certain.”

 John blinked at him as he continued staring down at him. “What are you saying, Lincoln?”

 “Is this confession time?” Lincoln rubbed the back of his neck. “Shit, I’m no good at this kind of talk at any time, much less four in the goddamn morning. Okay, here it is: I don’t know exactly what we have, but I know we have something. I know I don’t want you to leave once this shit with Marcano is over. I know I want you in a way I’ve never wanted anyone else...not since... _her_ , and I know you’re not someone who plays games. This isn’t a game to me, either. You can pull back from me because you’re not ready, or we can see where this goes.”

John stared at him, feeling the quiet unfurling of careful happiness inside, like a wall coming down. He had expected to feel awkward when he confessed to being emotionally involved. He hadn’t said the “L” word, but he might as well have; he couldn’t have missed Lincoln’s meaning. Not that the basic situation had changed--Lincoln hadn’t said the “L” word, either. But John didn’t feel that uncomfortable sense of panicked dread when Lincoln laid the cards out for him. Connor’s betrayal had left him unable to fully trust anyone ever again...not until Lincoln came and pulled him out of the abyss.

“You said _“her”_...did you mean Shoua Na--”

Lincoln cut him off with a glare and a sharp gesture of his hand. “Don’t,” he gritted out. “Don’t say her name. Don’t even mention her.” The pain seemed to bloom in his eyes. Suppressed grief of what happened in Laos covering him like a shroud.

“Lincoln-- 

“No.” Lincoln’s voice was hard and pained. “Donovan...please. She’s gone...it’s over.”

Lincoln had been burned; he, on the other hand, carried the scars inflicted by someone who he trusted...even loved. Shou Na’s death had traumatized Lincoln whereas Connor’s betrayal had nearly robbed John the desire to fill in the hole he’d left behind. 

Some things were better left unsaid.

Maybe the fact that this was uncharted territory for him was why he was frightened he’d get screwed over again. If Lincoln could risk it, then so could he.

 “All right,” John said calmly. “So now what happens?”

The pained look in Lincoln’s eyes was replaced by relief. “I suggest we pick up where we left off.”

“And then what?”

The look he gave him was faintly exasperated. “Are you going to write this down in an appointment book or something?”

“If we’re going to make this work then I suggest you keep me in the loop. Humor me. 

“All right. I know we’re both working towards bringing down Marcano. Some days I won’t have much free time, some days you won’t. Unless you want to set up shop in the basement at Sammy’s--No?” he asked when John shook his head. “I didn’t think so. Not yet, anyway. But failing that, then we continue as we have this week, together in our free time. We probably won’t have much alone time after I take over the city--”

“I don’t mind,” John murmured, earning an appreciative grin from him.

“--but I can promise I won’t be letting you leave anytime soon. How does that sound?”

“Hmm, I don’t know. Besides buying me dinner and flowers, what do you want to do?”

“Well, for starters I thought I’d fuck your brains out. Then, as an encore, I thought I’d fuck your brains out.” 

“You really know how to make a girl feel special,” John said, grinning. “If it’s special you want,” he said, getting on top of the blonde, “what do you think about round five?” John’s heart began hammering at the expression on his face, that heavy-lidded, intent look that meant he was aroused. “Round five sounds nice.”

“Glad we both agree,” he said, and leaned down to kiss him.

**Author's Note:**

> \- The title is taken from the song "Desperado" by Rihanna
> 
> \- This story takes place after Stones Unturned.
> 
> \- Things aren't set in stone between Lincoln and John just yet...but they're getting there. 
> 
> \- I read Plain of Jars and I while I'm none too happy about how the relationship between Shoua Na and Lincoln was written, her death was traumatizing and devastating and Lincoln just no longer wants to say her name or hear any mention of her because a part of him is still grieving over her.
> 
> \- Connor is also John's shitty ex. I headcanon that after Connor's betrayal, John had trouble trusting others until he met Lincoln. 
> 
> \- John and Lincoln are a hot mess but they'll find a way to make this work. 
> 
> \- I ship Lincoln/John, Lincoln/Cassandra, John/Cassandra, John/Cassandra/Lincoln, Roxy/Lincoln, Roxy/Lincoln/John/Cassandra, Cassandra/Roxy, and Anna/Happiness. 
> 
> \- I'm thinking about writing a fanfic where Anna survives Sign Of The Times and Lincoln runs away with her to California where they live together as family and heal. Nothing romantic. Just two damaged people finding peace in each other and learning how to live.
> 
> \- I was tipsy when I wrote Desperado. Please excuse any grammatical errors or mistakes.


End file.
